I Won't Let You Go
by LadyClaireAnn
Summary: "Al, you can't be the hero this time." Matthew couldn't go on living when everyone had forgotten about him, Alfred didn't forget. Character death.
1. Chapter 1

I Won't Let You Go

"Mattie," Alfred called as he entered his little brothers home.

No response.

"Mattie, you here?"

Nothing.

Alfred strode through Matthew's home on light feet; his brother was nowhere to be found.

"Matt, c'mon we're too old to play hide and seek," Alfred said turning toward his brother's bedroom, "And you can't be asleep at two in the afternoon."

Slowly he approached the door and a wave of darkness shrouded him, "Mattie, are you okay."

Alfred opened the door; he couldn't see his brother. He stepped into the room and walked around to the other side of the bed.

There lay his brother crying and clutching a knife, his bloodied arm rested on the bloodstained carpet.

"Matthew!" Alfred exclaimed.

His brother didn't respond to him.

"Matt please," Alfred fell to his knees and pulled his brother into an embrace.

Matthew cried into Alfred's shirt and clung to his older brother.

"Mattie, why would you do this?"

"No one wants me Alfred, no one knows who I am even," Matthew choked out.

"No Matt, no you have to stay with me," Alfred told him. He could feel the blood from his brother's arm soaking through his shirt but he didn't care. Instead he disentangled his brother's hold and sat him in front of him.

Next he pried the knife from his little brother's whitened hand, which was no easy task, as his hand had grown stiff around it.

"Al, let me go, please there's nothing for me here. I'm not wanted and no one would miss me," Matthew whimpered.

"Mattie, no, I won't let you go. Listen to me you have to stay here Matt, you've got to hold on," Alfred said to his brother.

But Matthew could barely hear him; the darkness had begun to set in.

"Mattie, please, hang on, please I love you. You can't leave me here I need my brother."

Matthew heard him this time, "Al, you can't be the hero this time," he whispered.

"Matthew you listen to me now, you're going to make it you've just got to hold on," Alfred could no longer hold his tears.

"I love you Alfred, and I'm sorry," Matthew whispered again.

"You're not going anywhere Matthew, I won't let you," Alfred pulled his brother to him once more.

"Die with me then, we can be together in death Al," Matthew suggested.

"Mattie, no, this is crazy, you need to stay here."

"Goodbye Alfred," Matthew let his eyes fall shut and allowed Death to close his hand over his mouth.

"Mattie please don't go," Alfred sobbed. He cried over his brother's cold body for a few minutes until the clouds swallowed the afternoon sun.

"Matt, come back to me."

His brother didn't wake up.

"You didn't have to leave Matthew, you didn't have to go," Alfred repeated into his brothers hair.

When he looked up a transparent Matthew sat in front of him looking down at his hollow body.

"Matthew…" Alfred said to the ghost.

It turned its eyes on him and smiled, "Al, it's so pretty on the other side."

"Mattie, please come back to me," Alfred begged and reached a hand to his brother's, he wasn't sure if he was holding Matthew's hand until he felt a cold sensation envelope his hand.

"I can't Alfred, its too late, I'm finally happy," his ghost brother said.

"You could've been happy here on Earth," Alfred said carefully, he was not sure if he had gone mad or not and truthfully he didn't care if he was.

The ghost smiled again and shook his head. "Al, promise me that you won't let me go, like you said before."

"I won't Mattie," Alfred whispered. "I won't let you go."

"Goodbye big brother," the ghost said before retreating into the air.

"I won't let you go," Alfred repeated.


	2. Who You'd Be Today

Who You'd Be Today

_"Al…" _an echoing, singsong voice called to him.

"No…" Alfred moaned and yanking the covers over his head stubbornly.

_"Al, come on, wake up," _the ethereal voice continued.

"I said no, Mattie," the American grumbled, reluctantly pulling the covers back from his face, when he opened his eyes, there sat his brother, cross-legged on the other side of his bed.

His brother's wraithlike face smiled at him, _"Good morning Alfred," _he said softly.

"G'morning Matthew," Alfred yawned and continued watching his brother's supernatural embodiment. He never took his eyes from the Canadian, this happened nearly every morning; Matthew would come to see him. These little moments were fleeting and Alfred found out the hard way that if he looked away Matthew's ghost would leave him, it usually did after some time but Alfred would be damned if it happened before they said good bye to one another.

_"Did you sleep well?" _Matthew went on in his quiet voice.

Alfred only nodded; he found it slightly disturbing that his brother would ask him of his nights sleep while he'd opted, rather selfishly in Alfred's mind, for an eternal sleep.

Every day he secretly cursed his late brother for leaving the world in such a way, he'd never tell Matthew of course, nor would he tell anyone of their little chats in the morning, when the sun would start its lazy climb into the sky.

_"Good, are you going to come and see me today?" _Matthew asked and tilted his head a little to the side.

"Of course I am," Alfred answered; knowing today was his little brother's birthday. Why he was going to go to the cemetery on such a day he didn't know, cemetery's were full of _death_ and he was going because its was his _dead_ brother's birthday, what he did know was that he'd made a promise to Matthew that he would go.

And he wasn't going to break it. He'd made another promise a few months earlier to his brother, that one was kept too, closer to his heart than anything. He'd never let his Mattie go.

The ghost smiled at him, seemingly unaware that he was in fact dead and that birthday's no longer meant a thing. _"I'll see you later Al," _Matthew said and started to disappear.

"Me too," Alfred sighed and when he blinked, the ghost that was his brother's was gone. He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, sighing.

Six months to this day Matthew had committed suicide because he thought no one ever knew who he was or cared about him. Alfred had found his little brother lying in a pool of his own blood, his pale, cold hand clasped around a knife.

Six months he'd managed to go on living without his brother and everyday the scene was still fresh in his mind as if it had happened but mere days ago. It'd been Hell for Alfred and sometimes he wished he had taken Matthew up on his offer that he should die too to be with him forever.

But that was an absurd suggestion; he'd not had the ghosts or reasons to die that Mattie had. Alfred just let his brother die while he'd had him all gathered up in his arms.

Time had gotten away from the American and he hastily threw the covers off of his body to look for some nicer clothes to wear to the cemetery.

Ten minutes later he was finishing up tying a pair of black dress shoes and got up to survey his appearance in the mirror. For the occasion he donned a white button-down shirt, a red tie, and a pair of black slacks.

He blinked once and suddenly his brother's image was before him in the mirror replacing his. Alfred smiled sadly and at the same time Matthew smiled, Alfred moved his hand up to the mirror and Matthew's hand met his on the parallel side.

He blinked again and his own image was again before him, weary, pallid, and broken. He ran his fingers through his hair dejectedly and went for the door, ignoring even the plate of donuts sitting on the kitchen counter.

A curiously cool midsummer zephyr combed its fingers through his sand-blonde hair and laughed through his ears, almost too familiarly, whilst he started his trek to the cemetery. Alfred thought for a split second that he was losing his mind; everything reminded him of his brother, certainly insanity could justify all the meetings and deliriums.

Deep down, though, he knew it wasn't insanity and that it was just his memories regarding the bond he and Matthew shared.

Now more than halfway to the cemetery, Alfred was starting to get anxious, cemetery's always had a way of unnerving him, they reminded him that Death was always there and at any moment he could swallowed up in the darkness.

He pushed those thoughts from his mind and picked up his pace. Five minutes later the wrought-iron gate enclosing the cemetery was in view at the same time something landed on Alfred's head and fell in front of him causing him to stop in his tracks.

A lone maple leaf lay on the ground, a lone, _red _maple leaf, in the beginning of July that was uncommon.

Alfred picked the leaf up and held it between two fingers, "Mattie, stop teasing me," he whispered and started walking again, still holding the maple leaf.

The gate to the cemetery creaked open when Alfred pushed on it. He turned in the direction where his brother's headstone was situated and headed there.

A simple granite stone marked Matthew's burial site, emblazoned with his name and dates of birth and death. Alfred fell to his knees in front of it, taking the maple leaf he'd been carrying and setting it on the stone gently.

"I'm here Mattie, just like I promised," he said to the stone.

_"I know Al, I see you,"_ his brother's ethereal voice floated about, wrapping around him up like a blanket.

"Happy birthday," Alfred's lips curled uneasily at the phrase, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

_"Thank you_," the voice answered.

"I miss you so much Matt, you have no idea," Alfred continued and shifted so he could sit cross-legged in front of the gravestone.

_"I know that, when we talk in the mornings, I can tell, that's why I come to visit you. To show you that I'm still there, and I miss you too."_

Alfred smiled a little, "Can I see you; I feel like I'm talking to the air."

His brother's laugh floated around him and soon Matthew's image materialized in front of him, sitting the same way he was, their knees touched.

_"That better, Alfred?"_

Alfred nodded and sighed. The brother's sat in silence for a while just looking at each other.

_"How have you been?" _Matthew asked.

"Better, I've definitely been better."

_"I'm sorry."_

"No, don't be. Its nothing we can change. God, I still can't believe you're gone Matthew," Alfred said quietly.

Matthew nodded knowingly, reaching out his hand and placing over his brother's.

They were silent again, the only sound being the wind rustling through the trees, casting shadows about the pair.

_"You should come here more often, it'd be nice if you'd return the favor of me coming to your house day in and day out."_

"I'm too busy, Mattie," Alfred lied.

"_I know that isn't true Alfred, why don't you come to see me more often?" _Matthew asked.

"I don't know."

_"Yes you do."_

Alfred sighed, "I can't bear it."

_"Why?" _the Canadian tilted his head in question.

The American looked down trying to think of how he could phrase his reason; "I don't come to see you often because when I leave it reminds me of how I let you go the day you— that day."

_"Oh, Alfred, you shouldn't feel that way. I don't blame you, it was solely my doing, and you couldn't have done anything even if you tried. And I remember you promised me you would let me go, and you haven't," _Matthew consoled him by moving to put his arms around him.

Alfred leaned into the cold embrace and let one tear roll down his face; he was quick to wipe it away, however. This was his brother's day, not his. "I'm sorry for that, if you want me to come here more often I will."

Matthew let go of him and sat down in front of him again, smiling, _"I'd like that."_

There was silence again, a long silence, so long that the sun began it's descent. Alfred looked at his watch, four hours he'd been sitting in this cemetery with his brother, ignoring the looks from others visiting the cemetery as he talked to an invisible person.

_Invisible, _that is how this whole tragedy started, everyone treating Matthew like an invisible upstart.

_"What are you thinking about brother?" _Matthew asked him.

"Nothing of consequence," he answered.

Matthew looked up to the sky, _"Its getting late, Alfred, you should think about going home before it gets dark."_

"I know, but that would mean leaving."

_"Yes, but I'll see you tomorrow," _his brother smiled at him, _"And thank you for coming here today."_

"You're welcome Mattie," Alfred replied and stood up; his legs were sore from sitting idle so long. Matthew got up too and hugged him.

"_I'll see you tomorrow, okay," _Matthew repeated after releasing him.

"Okay, goodbye Matthew," Alfred said, turning away from his brother reluctantly, and started toward the entrance of the cemetery.

_"Bye Alfred," _the ethereal voice followed him.

He looked back once and Matthew was gone, but he'd see him tomorrow and they'd be together again in due course. It was that knowledge that left Alfred hope.

A/N: Well, I'd been asked for a follow up to I Won't Let You Go so here it is. I hope I didn't overkill anything.

Thank you for reading (and hopefully reviewing) and encouraging me to keep writing. ^^


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